When you are in a relationship, there is a constant need to please the other person. You keep thinking nonstop, what should I do? Will he like it? Will he say no?

You are always confused with the choices that you need to make. Is it true that in a relationship, you tend to forget your own identity in order to be able to make the other person like you? Is it human tendency that we tend to always judge the other person so as to make them the way we want them to be?

Whenever you are sitting in a restaurant, or a movie, or in a bus, you observe a lot of people. You see their gestures, their clothes, their attitude, you watch their every tiny detail. In other words, you judge them. If someone comes and says, “That dress does not suit you”, you would probably never wear it again, even though the comment was made by a complete stranger. The pressure to please others and be praised by others is so big that we actually tend to live life guided by the choices of others and in reality forget what we really like.

This brings us back to the same question, why are we so confused in making the right choices and why do we rely on others to pass their judgment?

I suppose a lot of this has got to do with the fact that most of us lack confidence. We do not have the courage to go out and be who we are. We are afraid what others might think about us. Even though we would like a dress very much but if someone else doesn’t, then we don’t wear it.

The only solution to come out of this confusion is for all of us to realize who we are, what we desire and stand up for that. People still in this age are ashamed to accept they are gay, why? It doesn’t matter what the other person feels, it is not your job to please everyone. Even if you are in a relation and you are afraid of hurting the other person, come out of it. If the person truly loves you, he will have to accept what you are, your choices, and your wishes. To start living by the wishes and wants of other people lowers your confidence level further and eventually you become incapable of taking any decision in your life.

Gather all the courage, wear whatever you want to wear, end of the day you will be more happy and satisfied if you live as per your conditions and not by what others say.

I would just say one statement – “Please yourself if you want to please others”.